Episode 190 - How I Saved and Paid Off Over $8,000 in 90 Days
Welcome to episode #190 of the Debt Free Dad Podcast. Today I am excited to welcome Hilary Morse to the podcast. Hilary joined Roots in early June of 2023, and in just the last 90 days, she has made some incredible progress, saving and paying off nearly $8,000 in just the last 90 days. Hilary is here to share her journey early on and what changes she's made to get these results.
What You'll Learn
- Discover what made the biggest difference to help her save and pay off over $8,000 in just 90 days.
- Hear how she went from stressed, to feeling very hopeful and confident in her finances.
- Listen as Hilary shares her biggest takeaways, and what advice she would give to anyone who felt like her before she started.
Resources Mentioned
- Brad's Totally Awesome Debt Freedom Planner
- For more help, and a step-by-step process to get started, enroll in Brad's FREE online course, LIFE WITHOUT PAYMENTS.
Free Tools and Downloads at www.therealdebtfreedad.com
Connect With Brad
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Episode Transcript:
Brad:
Hey everybody, welcome to episode number 190 of the Debt Free Dad podcast Today. I'm so excited to welcome Hilary Morse to the podcast Now. Hilary joined Roots in early June of 2023 and just the last 90 days or so, she has made some incredible progress, saving and paying off a good amount of money just in 90 days, and I'm going to let her share what she's been able to do, because she's earned every single one of those dollars that she has saved and paid off. And Hilary is here today to share her journey early on, what changes she's been able to make to get these kinds of results. And, for all of you guys out there, I really wanted Hilary to come in and share, just because in 90 days, what she's been able to change. So if you're out there, you don't have the motivation, you're feeling defeated, you're feeling stressed about your finances. This is someone who has faced it. This is someone who's practicing a lot of things we talk about on the show and she's proof that the stuff that we are talking about Really does work. I'm excited to have her on to encourage all of you guys. Stay tuned. Hey, hey, hey. How is everyone doing today? You can find us on facebook, tiktok, youtube and instagram, just search Brad Nelson. Uh, debt free dad. And, as always, guys, welcome to today's show. Remember to get all the resources, show notes and links for today's show and, as we have mentioned over the last few episodes, we've had some pretty big updates here over on the website. we are now officially . You can find our podcast at the podcast. com. You can click on episode 190, which is today's episode, along with getting all of our other episodes that have helped so many people Over the years. And again, that's the death free dad podcastcom. Click on episode 190. And, guys, as I said, I'm excited to welcome Hilary to the podcast here today. Now, hilary is a 42 year old single mom of a 10 year old girl. Hilary is in her last class to complete her master's in nursing informatics. She's been in the medical field for over 20 years and 17 of those as a nurse, working the er and the float pool. There they name all of their animals after disney's princesses. They currently have a black lab named elsa and a cat named bell, who also goes by the name of psycho, which I'm sure has plenty of stories to go along with that name. She loves to travel and has a goal of going to every single country in her lifetime, which is pretty exciting. That's a big goal. She loves to watch movies is a huge star wars nerd which I love, by the way? And she even has a tattoo of the millennium falcon on her arm with her favorite Han Solo quote never Tell me the odds. Hilary says I have had trouble with money most of my life, but the pandemic broke me financially and emotionally so I knew I needed to get some help. And she says enter Roots of Personal Finance. And Hilary is here today just to share what she's been able to do since joining Roots and really starting to take control of this stuff. And Hilary, welcome to the show. I'm so glad you're spending some time with us here today.
Hilary:
Thanks for inviting me. I appreciate it.
Brad:
Yeah, absolutely so, if you could. I know you've sent me a pretty honestly detailed email of some of the things that you had gone through, and I actually went through and even read some of the first emails that you Had sent back in early June, of some of the stuff that you were struggling with, and it's been interesting, obviously, to see what you've been able to do now these last 90 days. But for our audience who doesn't know like what were some of the things you know as you grew up and maybe became, you know, an early adult and started to manage money, you know how did you learn about this stuff? How did you start managing it? Were you good at it? Were you not so good at it? Let's kind of start there and get our conversation going.
Hilary:
I would say I was never good at it. I grew up in a household that was very comfortable. We never wanted for anything. My parents both grew up very poor, so their Perspectives with money was different. They were very frugal but Never allowed us to want for anything. So we had the nicest clothes, you know. We got to play all the sports, we got to do all the things, we had nice vacations. It wasn't until I was an older adult that I knew the sacrifices that they had made to make that happen. But they tried to teach us about money in a way, like you know, with the three jars of saving, spending and giving. But there was no explanation. It was just jars, like. It was just jars, and I have always been one that as soon as I see money I'm like oh, how are we gonna spend it? Yeah, looks, looks like we can have some good times with that, you know and my daughter is very much the same way instant gratification, and so I'm trying really hard to change that discussion from you know save, spend, you know give and all of that to where it's like. What does that mean Like and what does it mean long term?
:
Yeah.
Hilary:
Um, because I think that had I known all that at a younger age, I'd probably be in a lot better position than I am now. Um, because you can say, like don't spend, okay, sure, yeah, like sure thing, I'm stressed, I'm gonna spend, I'm emotional, I'm gonna spend. Um, and honestly, life's just expensive and there's some things that you can't control. Happen to spend the money on. Um, but then when I started college, um, credit cards entered my life and they have not left. Well, I mean, they're technically gone now, but I'm just finishing paying them off, right. But, um, you know, I was bought into this, like wanting to keep the same lifestyle I had had growing up, and not realizing that I did not have the income to support that and um, so, you know, I wanted to travel, I wanted to have nice things and there was limits. And that's the credit card. It's just I was like making the minimum payments because I was like, well, that's all I have to me. Well, as we all know, those minimum payments and interest add up to a whole lot of expensive costs later, and so it just kind of continued. And then payday loans later on in life, um, because I was not able to pay my electric bill or something else. And those payday loans are awful and once you start on them you can't get off.
Brad:
It is the vicious cycle. So many people struggle with them. Yep.
Hilary:
Yeah it's, it's a very easy. I shouldn't say it's easy. It's actually hard and it hurts your ego to take a payday loan out. But at the same time you're like, if I don't take this out, I'm not going to be able to pay my electric bill and I'm not going to have power in Texas, where it's triple digit heat, right Like right. It's not an option, right? Could I have made better decisions prior to needing that payday loan? Probably sure, but you know by the point that you realize that you're in trouble, it's too late.
:
Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. I like stressful.
Brad:
Yeah, I like that. You brought up the whole of the whole, and it doesn't matter how you grow up I mean, I've worked with a lot of people, coached a lot of people. You know how you grow up, whether you grow up in a more affluent lifestyle or you grow up in a more Frugal, or you grow up maybe even a more, let's say, you know, less fortunate, or maybe let's say you can use the word poor Like a poor household. Um, it's interesting how you, how you take that experience, though, and and that you, you bring that over into adulthood. You know, I would say the same thing. My parents definitely weren't well off, but we, we never went without as kids, you know we always had the things that we needed, and my parents too, like they, taught us a little bit about money and personal finance, mostly, just, you know, save, save, save, but also credit score kind of stuff. And when I got to be an adult, though, it was interesting and it connected with me what you just said, because by the time I was in my mid to late 20s, from a material standpoint I matched my parents lifestyle and they were in their 50s. And it was interesting that I did it as fast as I did because of that comfort level, of how I was raised and how I grew up as a kid and I just I wanted to maintain that lifestyle too, but I didn't do it over like a 30 year period, I did. I did it over like a five or six year period, and if you know anything about how to do that, you do it with a lot of debt, right? Yeah, exactly, you know. So it's easy to look good, it's easy to have that kind of stuff at a young age, even in your 20s and even early 30s. But obviously today it's a little bit different with the housing market the way that it is. But you know, back when I was in my 20s and you know we're both kind of about the same age it's oh yeah, I felt for the same thing. I felt for the same thing for that. So that definitely, um, that definitely resonated with me a lot.
Hilary:
Well, and I think there was a lot of like social pressure, oh yeah, to like, oh well, you're an adult now, you're married, you have a career, you have a child, like you should have x, y, z, and then it becomes like this crippling pressure to perform to other people's standards, which now I could care less. But At the time, you know, when I took all this stuff on, it's because I did care, I did care what people thought of me and I did care where I lived and you know what school my child went to, not because of the education and I mean yes, also because of that but also, like, what amenities did that school offer? And all these things that really don't matter, right. Yeah but they really don't. When you're struggling, it doesn't matter.
:
Yeah.
Brad:
Yeah, that's social pressure and that's social influence, especially if it's related to career. I mean, you've been in the medical field, you're a nurse, I mean Comes with a good salary, most cases, right. I mean, and you've got other people that are friends just like you, that are, you know, our co-workers making that same salary. That it all comes with it, right, and that's.
Hilary:
I wouldn't say it's necessarily a great salary. I think that's a Misconception because I, you know, I probably made more selling cell phones. Quite honestly.
Brad:
Okay, really that's interesting.
Hilary:
Yeah, and it depends on where you live, though I mean it really does. Austin is one of the lower paid areas for nurses Because everybody wants to live here, so it's competitive, right. But what happens is like you have all of these expectations because of your career that you have to keep up with, so you have to be healthy and you have to do this and you have to do that, and then so you put all this money into, like, your health amenities and you know, and then also sometimes you end up with vices due to stress, and those vices are expensive, whether it's travel or, you know, going out to eat, or you know shopping or whatever. Sure, so there's trade-offs, you know. I mean I would say I started out as an LVN and we like I think I still remember because I tell my students all the time I'm like I was making $14 an hour as a nurse.
:
Yeah.
Hilary:
And I was like, oh my god, I mean I make more now, you know, but I've been doing this for 20 years and I worked my way up and I have multiple degrees, so they pay for that, but I also paid for those degrees and have the student loan debt to go with it, and so it's um, it doesn't balance out what I could be making, and that's. I think that's where the part is where I wish that they would have explained more In high school and even going into college about financial aid is like yes, they give you, like the quick rundown on the fafsa website. It does not explain the long term effects Well, you know, of getting these degrees, and you know scholarships aren't available for everybody. They really aren't. I applied for hundreds and thousands of scholarships and I got a total of $7,000 in my 12 years of college, and so I think that that's something that I wish they would talk about more, because I think that's really what set me on my path for being as stressed as I am now with finances and what put me where I'm at.
Brad:
Yeah, yeah, I would definitely agree. If you are a parent of a kid, that's going to certainly go to school. I mean, I think you know, as parents, we need to take the responsibility of educating our kids, because the schools aren't, you know, and the system isn't. But talking about the long term ramifications of student loan debt and what that's going to look like and how that's going to affect other things in their life, and you know what is the marketability of the degree that they're going to be going after and what kind of money are you going to be potentially making. And then, like you said, you know it's looking at like things like scholarships, and taking the time to understand those. Can you, you know, if a lot of kids go out and get part-time jobs, are there things that they can do to maybe apply for scholarships and do different things? But I think this gets ignored a lot for a lot of people. We get busiest parents, right, and I think, even as parents, sometimes it's hard for us to kind of understand where do we even, where do we even figure this out? Where do we look Right? And then what we tend to do is look at the system and the system is not very good at educating us to begin with and it just, it just kind of turns into this mess for a lot of people you know and well, and I just think that it's so important to talk about and I think that it's something that's definitely affected my life greatly in many ways.
Hilary:
But it's, you know, and I worked full time, 60 hours a week while I was in college. Even when it was a single mom, I would work 60 hours a week and I go to school 40 hours a week, and I had a nanny that basically raised my daughter for a little while.
Brad:
Right.
Hilary:
You know and all of those things, just to be able to move forward in my career, and I wasn't eligible for scholarships, pell Grant or any of that stuff, and so I took out student loans, yeah, but I also did my tuition reimbursement through my companies. Okay, and so I used that. So I would be in a lot worse trouble had I not been paying in with that. But there's all these things that people just don't talk about, and you know, it's affected me. It lost I lost a house because of it, like I was 10 days away from closing and they pulled out. I mean, it was also a little shady, but they pulled out, stating it was because of my student loans, that I had fully disclosed the entire loan process. Yeah, but now all of a sudden, it was an issue, and so I lost a home over it, and so I think it's something that people need to pay more attention to.
Brad:
Right.
Hilary:
Because it does. It does create challenges later and it also creates challenges when you're looking at your credit and your credit worthiness. They look at all of it.
Brad:
Right, yeah, Absolutely. So you joined in. You joined roots here in early June. Can you kind of? You mentioned the pandemic and how that kind of financially broke you. You struggled through that. Can you maybe talk us through that, Like what were you dealing with there and what kind of got you to the point where I needed to? I need to get help. I need to do something about this.
Hilary:
So I got divorced at the beginning of the pandemic. Not the greatest time, but it was fine. It needed to happen. I had to move into an apartment that was more expensive than my mortgage my mortgage at my beautiful home that I designed and loved and so it was a bit of a bitter pill to swallow. And I had to move inside unseen, because, covid, you couldn't look at it. You just had to move in, and so I moved in. I was a nurse, I was patient facing at the time, and so I had to go to work. There was not an option. Well, my daughter's school was closed down. Her daycare was closed down, which meant that the only daycares that were open cost me $2,200 a month. I didn't get any extra income to go to work, right, I didn't get any of that, and I wasn't eligible for this stipend that everybody else got, because my income with my ex-husband was too high. So we got no stipend, no, nothing with that, and $2,200 a month when you're only making $4,000 is like you can't do it. I mean, there was no food in the grocery stores when I got off work, so I went hungry a lot and made sure that my daughter had at least like ramen or mac and cheese to eat, because that's what she liked anyways, yeah. Fast food joints weren't open but, like all of that, added on costs that you don't think about.
Brad:
Right, yeah, that's so challenging. So what types of struggles that obviously bring on. Did you start getting behind on bills? Did you start like how?
Hilary:
did you make all that work? So it was a lot. So I took out a loan to help cover costs and it's like through it's kind of shady, but it's actually it saved my life. So I was like, whatever, I'll take the hit now. But I took out this loan with this company and the monthly payments were fine. I could do it, and it paid off some of my other debt but gave me a cushion to pay childcare for like six months.
Brad:
Gotcha Okay.
Hilary:
So that I because I knew that the pandemic wasn't ending anytime soon. So I was like I need this help while I'm kind of getting settled after my divorce and everything. So I took out that loan. Things had already started kind of like getting like almost behind, like where you're like, okay, can I pay this? Is it going to over draft my account? I don't know. And then, about three months later so my health got worse I got COVID. I have an auto. I have actually have three autoimmune disorders oh my goodness, wow. So my medications were several thousand a month. My insurance covered some of it, but not a lot. So I had to rely on coupons and things like that to cover the extra. But stress and autoimmune disorders don't go well together. And then when I got COVID, it made my asthma worse and I couldn't breathe. So I was in the ER a few times. They wanted to admit me and I said I can't because I have nobody to watch my child. So please just give me the medication. I'm a nurse, I will watch my O2 sets, I'll do my med treatments, I promise. And I lived across the street from the ER, so it was fine, right. But then I had an ER bill. And then I had my X-ray bills, my follow-ups with my PCPs, I had, you know, medication bills, all of those things that just kept on adding on and adding on. And I had my daughter in therapy, which was $160 an hour, once a week, you know, and she needed it. So you have to do that and it's like what it just stacked. And then, by the gosh, I guess it was like 2021 when I lost the house that I was building. I had to find a place to live last minute, which meant I didn't have a lot of time to find a good deal, and that being a okay place to live and it was a good price and everything was fine, but I lost my deposit and I had to pay fines to move out of my apartment. So then it was like, but, as you can see, it snowballed all the way through, and then I was getting back on track, everything was getting a little bit better, and then my landlord decided he was taking the house back and I had to move out of that house into my now apartment, which is 500 more a month than I was paying, and so it just kind of it was like, you know, one after another, and so that move happened in April and that's when I was like, okay, I need help. And I've been listening to the podcast, but I hadn't like pulled the trigger on joining Roots. Yeah, just because the cost, I was like I like I didn't have it, I didn't have it, I didn't have it. But then I have a side gig and I'd gotten a little extra money and I was like, okay, we're doing this. And so I ended up joining and I mean it's been honestly life changing for me the support, the just communication, the resources, the shared ideas on how to save money, like in the most ridiculous ways, I mean like stupid things that you don't even think about. You're like, oh gosh, that's so simple. Like how did I not know this? But all of that like kind of got me back to where I was like okay, maybe there's a chance I'm going to get out of this at some point in my life.
Brad:
Maybe I don't know. So when you so, when you first joined, and maybe you can share, because there's a lot of people who are listening to this, who are, who are just like you and maybe you know we all have different stories, different ways we get here, but a lot of us deal with a lot of the same types of stress. You know. I mean, here you are, you have, you know, things are okay and then the pandemic hits and it's kind of like a house of cards. What you're describing, you know and that's what happens to a lot of us. You know it's like things are good, but it's also we're one event away, in a lot of cases, from just everything falling apart very quickly, and that's what happens? Absolutely you know that's what happened and you know here you are, you're going to finally do something about it. So, when you first started joining Roots, can you share, like, what were some of the, what were some of the things that made the biggest difference for you in these last 90 days? Do you think? Was it budgeting? Was it saving? You mentioned, you know, the support that you get in the program and stuff like that, which are all great things, but you know, from a, I guess, from an action standpoint, what things did you physically do that someone else who's listening to this right now could start doing today to start making some better progress? Do you think?
Hilary:
I would say it took a hard look at myself, like my behaviors, like I could have a budget. I have 19 budgets on paper on my computer, but it doesn't matter, it does nothing for me, until I took a hard look at where my money was really going and why. Yeah, you know, a lot of therapy helped kind of work through where it was coming from, because it was emotional spending. I needed to fill some hole or, you know, reduce my stress with some instant gratification, happiness, whatever Starbucks or movie, whatever that is. But the behaviors was the biggest thing for me. And then I also took a look around my house at what my behaviors had caused and was living in this much smaller space with way too much stuff. And it was like, how can I get rid of this stuff? Like, okay, well, let's go on Facebook Marketplace, let's go on OfferUp, let's go on all these things, and started selling off all the excess, which is how I made a large portion of the dent and my debt, but also in my sanity, because, god, I mean, stuff is just stacked everywhere, but that gets you extra income. My side gig, being able to find a side gig that allowed me to be home with my daughter, to have flexibility, to do it when I want when I don't. And then, after I did all that, then it was like, okay, now we can pay closer attention to the budget, now that we've worked on where the errors are coming from and I try to pay for a budget. It doesn't work for me. My brain cannot. The ADHD is strong over here. So I use, like like YNAB or whatever like the app because I can easily see everything and where it's going. And then I can also see like, oh gosh, we spent a lot on eating out last month. We should probably chill out this month, but it's very visual and I think that that really has helped on that and just being able to be more aware and like listening to the podcast and things, because I had always been like, oh, I got to pay my debt off and it's like no, no, no, yes, but no, but like you got to also save, like you have to have something in savings, you have to have, like you know, your basic, your, like you call it, the house paid for. But then the debt, like and when I just realized that, I was like, oh, my God took a breath and was like okay, the debt will get paid eventually. It's just not going to be today.
Brad:
Yeah, I love that you took responsibility for it, because I think right now, you know, I mean we when I'm looking on social media and I'm especially on tiktok and you know we do a lot of posts and stuff there and there's a lot of people who are who are talking about how financially stressed that they are just affording the basics and rent and all this stuff. And you're talking about the very same problems that a lot of people are experiencing with you know. But what I'm not seeing are a lot of people like looking back at themselves and saying, okay, how can I make different choices to fix this? And you're saying that's one of the things that you did. So, if you're listening to this, like you got to listen to what Hilary just said there, because that is so important, like she took time to look at what she could control and you started making some better decisions, better choices. You started looking around the stuff that you had. I mean there are still things, even even with as bad as your situation is. I mean you just went through it. That's a lot of stuff you had to go through. I mean you, you it's amazing Now I'm in the last 90 days is crazy how far you've come, just knowing what you've had to deal with just to get to that point. But here you are, and you're still making changes and you're making progress, even with all of the stuff that you've had to deal with, all the challenges that you face prior to this. It's proof that doing some of that simple stuff and taking accountability for your own actions and what things you can control it can make a difference.
Hilary:
It really can, and I think that it's hard for most people to take that hard look at themselves. I think that most people struggle with that. I think that's normal, because you don't ever like it's. It's more fun to blame somebody.
Brad:
Oh, so much easier to point the finger at everything else so much easier.
Hilary:
You know, I mean even with our kids, like you know, like, am I responsible for my bad decisions on spending with my daughter? Yes, Do I like to blame her for it? Absolutely yes, we do Right. But you know the power of no is strong in this house now, but it's, but you know, it's just. I don't think there's a lot of resources out there that do what you do where it's like owning your behaviors, Like it's not just, it's not you're a bad person, it's. You made a decision that was then. This is now. How are you going to change it, instead of like some of the popular sites that are like you're the devil because you do all these things? Yeah right, no right. I was just trying to live my life, yep, yep.
Brad:
And I think that that's something that's important. Yeah, absolutely it is. You know, I think that there's a lot of people that, including myself, you know, we beat ourselves up like we feel, like we're the worst. You know, and at the end of the day, you know I haven't met or coached anybody who's intentionally just destroyed their financial life. You know, we all, we all go into debt with the best of intentions. It's not like we go into debt to purposely cause just a huge amount of stress in our life. But life has a funny way of not working out perfectly like we thought it would.
Hilary:
You know it's funny.
Brad:
You know, we go in and do some of these deals. We buy a car, we buy furniture for 90 days same as cash and we're like we promised we're going to pay it off and then all of a sudden something comes up and we can't pay it off and then the next thing happens. Very much like your story, Hilary, like you. Just. You just said it all kind of was just like one thing after another, it seemed, and before you know it things were just in a really bad spot.
Hilary:
Well, like who would have thought the pandemic was going to happen. Exactly, I mean worse than I would have never thought in a million years that we would have had a three year pandemic Right. I would have just never thought that and like the effects of that that are still ongoing for most of us.
Brad:
Yep, now we've got, now we're dealing with inflation, you know, I mean, there's always, always going to be something out there, you know, and I think so Absolutely. So taking a more proactive approach in your financial life and saying, okay, I can't control how expensive things are, but I can control what I'm participating in and what I'm willing to buy and what I'm willing to bring into my life and you know I can focus on those things Right.
Hilary:
Right.
Brad:
And I think you know you've taken that attitude and I think it speaks volumes to where you are. So I want you to share what have you been able to save and pay off total since? I think you joined in early June. It was like the first week of June. Right now, as we're recording this, it's like the second week of September, so we're talking just a little over 90 days or so.
Hilary:
So I only look on the first because it's overwhelming to me to look any other day. But as of the 1st of September, I have paid off $6,886.48. And I have put, as of today, I've put $1,300 into my emergency fund and an additional $200 into my sinking fund for, like car repairs and stuff that I know are upcoming. But I keep like a tracker, like an Excel spreadsheet that starts from where I started and it has my student loans and everything in there. So it makes your eyes bleed. But I needed to look at the first and so I have it. So it sets up so it tells me exactly how much I've paid off each month. Because if I look at the overall number that I owe of like $233,000 in debt, I'm just like forget it Right, I'm not doing anything, I'm done, I just want to move on. But now that I've set it up this way to where I can see it, and then it's set up in a debt snowball format so it like pushes over every month what's going to be paid extra to somewhere else and it tells me what my monthly payments are currently like, how much I'm paying in credit cards and loans, and then each month it tells me what the difference is, so that I can see like, oh my God, I could like go to Europe for three months on what I'm paying and freaking interest, but there's at least like an end in sight and so just being able to see it move every month, even though some months it's only like $150. Like I think last month it only moved like it wasn't. $150 is more than that. But because I've been doing my side gig more, but like you know, even if it's a smaller number, at least if I can see the progression, I'm like, okay, I am actually making progress. I know it doesn't feel like it because I'm still making these monthly payments, but like I am absolutely moving forward. Yeah.
Brad:
So there's so much good stuff and what you just said. The first thing I want to just say is saving and paying off over $8,000 in 90 days as a single mom is just an incredible feat. I mean that's huge. I mean you have had to take some massive action, sell some things, do some things different, and you've done that. And would you have ever believed, like in 90 days you'd make that kind of progress?
Hilary:
No, I would have laughed. I would have said you're crazy.
Brad:
There's no way right. But here you are. Can you share a little bit about how you feel now? And even though I know you mentioned you still got a long way to go.
Hilary:
But talk about your feelings. I mean I've got at least probably seven years before I'm debt free, but it's seven years, that's before I'm 50.
Brad:
Right.
Hilary:
Love it. That's before I'm 50. It's before you're 50. I think I'm a lot more hopeful than I have been previously, because, prior to starting to pay down this debt, I just I felt depressed and I felt like a loser. And, like you know, I have friends that have done really well for themselves and Awesome, have really nice lives in second and third homes, and you know all these things. And like, here I am in my crappy apartment that may have my daughter hate and I was like, but okay, but no, this is a stopping point. This is a stopping point. This is to get us back on track. This was a place. We have a roof over our heads. You know all this stuff and I'm I'm gonna be able to take this, and next year, when my lease is up, we will move into a town home so that we have more space, more comfort and I still will be saving money and paying off debt. Yeah, and then by the time I'm 50, I will hopefully be done, yeah, you know, and not have to worry about this anymore, cuz I mean, god bless, right now I'm paying. Let's see 3100 a month in debt payments.
Brad:
yeah, wow, 3100 a month right and think about it like, if you do this before 50, a lot of people don't do it. So if you're listening this, go do this live, just like Hilary just said. Total up how much you got going out in debt every single month, and then imagine and leave out your mortgage. Let's just leave that out. But if you got rent or mortgage, leave that out all right, let's. Let's total up everything else, though, and then just imagine not having that, and then saying what could I do with that money to better my life and reach the goals that I have? 3100 a month for you, is gonna be huge, and you're right seven years. It's gonna be massive it's gonna be, but in seven years, like you're gonna do it before your 50, that means you've got almost nearly 15, maybe 17 years before you can officially retire to have that extra money every single month.
Hilary:
That's gonna that's gonna make, even taking into account what I'm putting into my retirement. I do that automatically through my paycheck. Like this is just. Like this is just debt, yeah, and so, like I'm still saving money in my retirement a decent amount every month I contribute as much as I can to get them to match, yep, you know. So like that, on top of paying all this off and being able to put more and more money towards my investments and savings, is really gonna put me in such a good position, because in my what my current job is, I do case management and I work with the elderly population and I get to see what happens if you're not prepared right and that's not necessarily like not prepared by choice, but like life happened and you were unprepared, a spouse passed away or, you know, your home burned down, you know I mean like anything can happen, but because they didn't have backup plans and they had debt going into these issues. Now here they are in their 70s, 80s, struggling and being reliant upon others you know generosity and charity to be able to afford food yeah and it's ridiculous and I don't want to ever be there yep and so I really try hard to make good decisions now without giving up my life. Right like I need a life still. I need to be able to travel or do things and have fun.
Brad:
But yeah, talk about that. So you, you're a single mom, you're saving, paid off, you know, near over $8,000 now and in over the last eight days and you're mentioning like you're still want it. You still live in a life. You haven't cut every single out of the thing out of your life to do it. No. So how have you been able to manage doing that but also still having fun? Can you share a little bit about that, because that is people's misconception. I'm gonna have to give up everything if I ever want to get out of debt. That's not. I mean, you do have to make sacrifices, but you don't have to give up everything no, it's, you don't.
Hilary:
I mean you could and get done faster, but honestly you'll never get done because you'll hate your life and that's just reality. I made that mistake because I mean, you lose all like, you lose all desire to do it if you're just miserable through the process. So we used to eat out more and honestly I enjoyed it, because my daughter is picky and I do not like to cook for her but and I'm gluten-free, which is a whole other thing, but we have one day out a week that we eat out and it's a special. It's a donut day. That we've done since she was a toddler, you know. So that's like something special for us. We love to go to the movies, so I have, like I've learned how to do ways to save that. So I, like, I'm a part of, like, the Cinemark savings club, so I get a ticket every month, plus you get 20% off, and so it saves you there. And then I use my Costco membership to buy this in a marked gift cards. So for $50 you pay 39 okay so you basically get a free $11 there, you know. But so it's like kind of learning, like savings trips and I've always been good at like travel savings because I don't like to spend a lot of money on stuff like that. I'd rather do it more inexpensively. But like, if I like, this summer I really want to take my daughter somewhere. So while she was visiting her dad, I just picked up extra shifts with my side gig and I paid for us to go to a resort for that we can drive to, yeah, for a night and two days, basically, and you know, just trying to work around. If I get a bonus, maybe instead of using the whole bonus to pay off debt, I'll take a percentage of it and use it for entertainment. Yeah, love, we use the pool at our apartment complex. You know we go and do stuff there. If there's free events, we'll go to do free events. I don't know it. Just you find ways around it. You don't realize how much stuff is out there that's free or cheap until you're like really like, okay, I'm gonna not spend money, right, and then you're like, gosh, there's all this stuff. Why didn't I take advantage?
Brad:
yeah well, I think what you're talking about you know, I think all and you know you've talked about the word hope. You've talked about that you haven't had to give everything up. You've, you've saved and paid off quite a bit in the last 90 days. I think you know what you're speaking to in general and I think what we talked about a lot is just the value of having a plan that is actually working, you know, and following a system that actually works. You know, and I think having something like that it gives you the confidence to know that or have to worry about this, like I am on a good plan, I am making good progress. You brought up the power of tracking. You know, having a spreadsheet and seen what you've been doing every single month. Most people have no idea what's going on in their bank account and for you to be able to go back and be able to see that progress, I mean that builds confidence. So I mean it does. I mean, just all of the stuff that you're talking about over these last 90 days is such a life-changing life-changing changes that you're making and it makes just such a bigger impact on just your overall feeling, on your finances, even when you're saying, like you do, like I've got a long way to go, but I feel hopeful that I'm gonna get there.
Hilary:
I mean this, it's amazing yeah, and it's not something that I ever thought that I would feel. Quite honestly, I just figured like, especially my student loans debts, I'm like that's going to the grave. Like, yeah, I mean 130,000, like that's, yeah, that's going to the grave. But now I can see like actually I doesn't have to. But how can I make that happen without giving up my own sanity in the process? Like well, hey, get rid of your credit cards because they're useless, they create bad habits. Yeah, so much. And being okay with like I mean, I've never been a new car girl. It's not been my thing. I like a good car, you know, but I don't need it. I don't need it to be new or anything. But now it's like I look at my SUV and I'm like we're gonna be friends for a long time, long time there's there's no new cars for a very long time, so you better last. But then that goes back into the savings thing. And what people don't take into consideration is like the important money that you need to put aside is like your maintenance on your vehicles, your maintenance on your home, so that you don't have those larger expenses later because of lack of maintenance.
Brad:
Right, right.
Hilary:
Can you talk a little bit about this Nice?
Brad:
Yeah, can you talk a little bit about how did your daughter feel about all this?
Hilary:
Not great. She's a bit of a spoiled princess, I think. You'll see, in the photo that I shared with you, you know, we were at Disney World and my shirt said broke and her said spoiled, and I feel like that's a pretty accurate description of our lives, right? You know, she's very much a. She calls me made of money mom. Oh no, yeah, she loves that one, she thinks she's super funny, but she just she really has for a long time. She just puts her hand out, and I had a lot of guilt about her dad not being around and you know the pandemic, I mean like all the things that she was missing out on, and so I would just say yes, to my own detriment, you know and so I was like okay. So I think, like in July we sat down and we were like I was like okay, you need to come look at this budget, and she was like that's how much you spend, and I was like yes, yes, love that, love it. And then I want you to notice how much I also make, yeah, and I want you to notice those numbers don't match.
Brad:
Right.
Hilary:
So like, and so she's been more respectful of the no, because it's not a no, it's a why. Right now, like this is an instant gratification thing. You don't need it. Like you have your clothes, you have your shoes. Like you have a computer and iPad, you have your phone. Like those things are already taken care of. You don't need the newest Roblox or Minecraft, whatever. Now, if you want to earn it, you can earn it, but it's not going to happen today.
Brad:
I love. I love, though, that you're changing, because you mentioned early on this conversation about how your, your parents would talk about, like those three jars right, and how you didn't you didn't make that connection of well why you are changing that for her by showing her the numbers and showing her the reality of what it takes to run a household, and for sure. Now there's a why behind it, right. So it's a lot easier to say, hey, no, that's not in our plan, that's not in our budget. You've seen the numbers and obviously she's seen them right. So she knows like it's no, it's no, there's no confusion. I think for a lot of kids, you know if you're in, and this is the hard part, I think, for a lot of parents is that for a lot of us, we're doing a poor job, managing our finances to begin with right, and then, when our kids ask for something and we say, oh no, we're broke or we just don't have the money, you don't have the means to show them because you don't really have a good plan. Anyways, right, it's like how can I really? literally show them if you don't really have a good working plan, you do. I mean, you're tracking, you have your budget, you know where you're at and now you can just lay it out to them and say Okay, when we say no, we're not trying to be mean, we're not trying to say like we don't want you to have things. It's just like this is what it takes to run our house and we have to choose what things we say yes to and what things we say no to. And there are going to be times where it's like you're not going to get those things and this is why this is why it's not because you know we don't want you to have those things and that's why we do Right. But in most cases it's like, because that's just not part of our financial plan, and here's why. Here's how it all has to work.
Hilary:
And I think it's interesting too when you don't deal in cash, they don't see it.
Brad:
Right.
Hilary:
You know what I mean. Like, and so many of us don't deal in cash, right, because our banks, you know our paychecks, go direct deposit to our bank and then we just pay everything from there, which is fine, right, but you know, but like they don't see the cash, and like I mean, even just yesterday I went to go pick up a customer's laundry or whatever for my side gig and she handed me $50 tip. And because I've been picking her up for a while and she doesn't tip on the app, so she, just every once in a while she was giving me cash. And so I showed it to my daughter and I was like this is our donuts for three weeks. And she was like whoa? And I was like yeah, it's like that's, that's a big deal. Or when she asked me for something, and I'm like no, I share my bank account balance, that is why we can't do that right now. And then she's like, okay, and she drops it.
:
Yeah.
Hilary:
I don't get the pushback that I used to get of like well, you always know, I don't. I don't buy anything for myself, so shut up, yeah, yeah.
Brad:
It's something I started doing with my son, Noah. You know he's he's 13. But last year I had him start cutting grass. We're like we where we camp. We have a couple of, because we have to take our own site, because we're seasonal campers. So I have one site where an older, older lady works that can't cut her grass, so Noah cuts it. And I was like, oh, this is a great opportunity. He gets a little job, he gets a little of money, he starts to be able to learn how to manage it. He's made some mistakes where he spent it all and now I can tell this year he's making a lot better choices with that money May not be perfect still, but it's with real money. You know what I mean and I think for for a lot of you, if you're looking for how can I teach my kids to manage their money, you know, let them use and see real money, let them spend real money and let them see, like when the money is gone, like we, there's no more spending. You know, and have them not give that experience, have them waste it. You know I mean all of those things are okay at a young age and I think you know giving your kids that opportunity and getting them involved in the conversation, I think are all good things. You know this goes back to when, when I was a kid. You know money is still was and I think it still is for a lot of people very taboo and kind of shameful topic for a lot of people. You don't talk about it, we don't talk about how much money we make, we're not going to talk about where we're at financially and I just think, from a family standpoint, you're not doing your kids any favors by not sharing any of this stuff, because they're going to have to learn it and if you don't teach them, the schools aren't necessarily doing a good job to teach them. The financial industry is going to teach them and that's going to teach them go right where, right into debt, and that's why we really need to work with them. So I'm glad you know you're you're taking those steps, but she's seeing you also take responsibility for the challenges that you've guys have faced and and you are taking some pretty awesome action right now. So that's really, really cool.
Hilary:
Yeah, it's exciting and I'm really hopeful that you know with her, seeing what I'm doing, that she, like she said the other day I'm never going to have credit cards and I was like I swear, I hope that's true. But you know, I know that it's probably not. But we, you know, everybody makes that mistake at some point. I'm hoping that at least she sees, because she's getting older and she's under more understanding of this stuff that she can see the damage it's done for me and not make those same bad decisions.
Brad:
Right.
Hilary:
Right, and so I'm hopeful that you know, just because what they see does more than what we tell them.
Brad:
Right, absolutely. Action speak louder than words. There's no question, yep, and I think that's the that's the best lesson you're giving her right now is is she's going to learn a lot just by watching you now and manage your finances different, feeling better. I mean, what better example can you have? I mean, that's that's pretty incredible. My last question for you is let's say you were just starting over again. You know you're on the fence. You haven't started yet. What would you say to someone who's in the same position that you were just 90 days ago? Maybe you know whether it's joining roots or just getting started with something like you know, based on where you're at today, what kind of advice would you give them, knowing what you know now?
Hilary:
It hurts, no matter when you start.
Brad:
Oh my gosh yes.
Hilary:
Oh my gosh.
Brad:
Yes, that's okay, I mean it does yeah.
Hilary:
The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be successful, and there's no measure of success in this. It's not about how much you pay off or how quickly you pay it off. It's about what you do to make your life less stressful, I mean and more manageable. The goal, of course, is to be debt free. Everybody wants to be debt free, but, like it's not going to be the same, it's going to take me a lot longer than it's going to take other people, and because I had a different life.
:
Yeah.
Hilary:
I mean, that's just no. Two lives are the same and comparison is not going to help you, but the sooner that you just pull the trigger and get involved, even if it's just listening to the podcast or you know, being a part of, like, the free groups, I gained a lot, a lot of information just from that alone. But you know, and I find that you know most people, once they get in those groups, if they're really serious about getting debt free, they tend to join Roots Because they see the benefit, they see the community, they see the changes that open up for them. But it's just no need to sit on that fence, just jump on off.
Brad:
Yeah, Hilary, I just want to say congratulations to you. You've come so far. I'm proud of you.
Hilary:
Thank you.
Brad:
You know, for taking responsibility and doing this stuff it's a lot of hard work and you're right, it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt, but to see you do that it's pretty incredible. And for those of you who are listening to this, you know Hilary is absolutely correct. You have to get started. Like none of this information, this podcast, the free workshop that we have roots, I mean anything that we're doing here at Debt Free Dad, heck, anything outside of Dad. If you read a personal finance book, like if you're not willing to put in the work, none of it's going to matter. Right, you do have to put in the work. You do have to feel a little bit of that pain and if you're willing to, you can be in the same position like you were here just 90 days saving and paying off over $8,000. So just incredible job. I'm really, really excited for you.
Hilary:
Thank you, I appreciate that.
Brad:
Absolutely. Thanks for being on.
Hilary:
Absolutely. It was fun. I was glad to get to be another one of the many that will be on this podcast. Yeah, how much it's changed their lives.
Brad:
Well, you want to know what I look forward to having you back on, maybe another year from now, and seeing exactly where you're at and see where you continue progress. It would be awesome to kind of follow you along here and see where you're at, but keep up the great work.
Hilary:
For sure.
Brad:
Thank you so much, yep. So the totally awesome Debt Freedom Planner is helping so many people make consistent progress with their finances, whether that be building emergency funds, paying down bills, budgeting, tracking paydays, saving up for larger purchases, goal planning and planning for those irregular yearly expenses that always seem to catch you by surprise. Now the Debt Freedom Planner will help you take the stress out of managing your money. And if the thought is running through your mind, hey, I just need to have a simple tool to get my finances together, this planner is perfect for you. Head over to therealdebtfreedad. com, click on the Debt Freedom Planner in the menu at the top of the page and order your Debt Freedom Planner today. Let's talk about debt, baby. Let's talk about your money. Let's talk about all the good things, all the bad things that may be. Let's talk about debt. All right, guys. As you guys know, that it means. It's time for the celebrations of the show and, most importantly, the biggest one here today is Hilary. Just again, huge job, well done to her and for taking time out and to share her journey. I hope that's encouraged. You guys, especially if you're out there feeling stressed, have had a lot of things happen to you, just like Hilary, where it just doesn't seem to be like you'll ever get out of it. She's proof that by taking some of the simple actions that we share here, it can make a big difference over time, and it's just awesome to have her on. So I hope you guys enjoyed that. So we're going to kick it off here with Laura Pleichhardt. She says found some extra money and my loan is almost under $1,000. So making progress on point paying that off, laura. Congratulations to you. Lindsay Witt, all bills are paid. For the beginning of this month I put $300 in my emergency fund and $200 towards debt and have not used any debt in three weeks. Lindsay, that is a nice streak. Great budgeting wins, great payoff wins. Awesome job, patty Malone. My first time post. My husband and I ended our first month doing the cash envelopes. We cut back from the original amount we were spending and still had almost $400 left to put on the credit card. It's amazing how much less you spend using cash only. And, guys, we just talked about this with Hilary on the show here today, teaching your kids how to use actual money. This stuff works for adults too. We actually did a whole podcast episode about I don't know six, seven episodes ago here about cash stuffing and cash envelopes. Go check that out if you want to use the power of cash. But here, patty, huge win $400. They didn't spend because they were using the accountability of money. Such an incredible win, so great job, teremine. We've paid off one small credit card already $105 and added $300 to our emergency fund to make it $1,300. And we even saved $65 for our vacation fund. Tara, getting it done, congratulations to you and Ksenia. Ksenia Seymour just paid off the first credit card in my debt snowball. Look at you guys. This is awesome. It's not a huge amount and that's okay, but I'm excited to have one less bill to pay every single month and keep that momentum going. Ksenia, congratulations to you. It's a huge win. Remember those first wins. It's not about the amounts, it's about progress. It's about building that small staircase to success. So just a huge win and congratulations to all of you guys out there who are taking your financial lives back. You're willing to think different, do some things different. You guys are doing an incredible job. It's so much fun to get your messages and see how much this podcast is helping you guys. Man, it's just so cool to see how far you guys are going. So hey, by the way, if you want to start taking steps like Hilary did on today's show, if you're just getting started with our podcast or maybe even listening for some time, and you're interested in how you can get started on the road to financial freedom and starting to make the progress like Hilary did today, go visit our website at debtfreedad. com and sign up for my free Life Without Payments workshop. This workshop is going to give you all of the very first steps when you're getting started, things that you should focus on. We're going to give you some great handouts to get started with. This workshop has helped tens of thousands of people over the years. It's helped myself. All the stuff that we're sharing here. It's helped me remain debt free for 10 plus years. Go check this out. It'll help you kick financial stress and worry for good. We will see you guys next week. Take care.
:
Have a great week. Thanks for listening to the Debt Free Dad podcast. Connect with us on Facebook, tiktok, youtube and Instagram at Brad Nelson Debt Free Dad. If you found value in today's episode, please leave a rating and review. We so appreciate it. For resources, show notes and links mentioned in today's show, visit Balancedcents.com. That's balancedcents.com. Catch you next week.
