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Episode: 279 - From Paycheck to Purpose: The Secret Behind Crushing Debt

Introduction 

Paying off debt demands discipline, sacrifices, and a strong sense of determination. Staying within a tight budget, resisting impulse buys, and channeling every spare dollar toward debt repayment can be challenging, particularly when life throws unexpected challenges your way. This is where developing your "why" becomes essential—it's the underlying motivation that drives your commitment to achieving financial freedom. Having an emotional connection to this goal will keep you pushing forward, even when motivation wanes. Let’s dive into how to uncover your why and why it’s so vital for reaching financial independence. 

 

 

Welcome to Debt Free Dad 

Welcome to the Debt Free Dad podcast, where our mission is to empower everyday people to take charge of their finances and lead happier, less stressful lives. My wife and I paid off $160,000 in debt over eight years while raising three kids. That journey took nearly a decade, and it wasn’t without its highs and lows, particularly during the first four years. A major reason for our slow progress was the lack of a solid why. While we wanted to become debt-free, our initial motivations were shallow and didn't truly resonate. 

Recognizing Our Initial Why 

  1. At first, our reasons were simple but not meaningful: having extra money to travel, drive a better car, or own a bigger home. But we quickly realized these weren’t truly significant to us. Since our motivations were shallow, it was easy to stray from our debt repayment plan. Our genuine reasons had little to do with money. Here are the four main drivers that helped us stay on course: Ending Money Conflicts Money was a frequent source of tension in our home. Despite having a decent income, we lived paycheck to paycheck, often with just $50 to $100 left before the next payday. This caused regular arguments and stress. Our first and most compelling why was to create a peaceful household and stop these money-related disputes. 
  2. Being Role Models for Our Kids Growing up, both my wife and I were taught that having debt was just a part of life. It was something our parents assumed was inevitable, like always having credit card debt. We wanted to change this story for our children by modeling financial freedom and encouraging them to avoid student loans and make sound financial choices from the start. 
  3. Living for Ourselves, Not Others We spent years keeping up with societal expectations, living in trendy neighborhoods, and buying things to impress others. This constant effort was exhausting and financially draining. We realized that we wanted to live for ourselves, not based on others' perceptions. 
  4. Being Ready for New Opportunities Although I had a stable 20-year career, I wasn't passionate about it. There were multiple instances where opportunities arose, but we couldn’t pursue them because of our financial constraints. Becoming debt-free would enable us to embrace future opportunities without hesitation. 

Crafting Your Why 

To uncover your why, engage in some honest self-reflection. Surface-level reasons won’t be enough—think deeply about your dreams and long-term goals. How do you envision your life when you're debt-free or have a better handle on your finances? Consider how financial security will positively affect your relationships, career, and mental well-being. 

Visualize traveling to dream destinations, launching your own business, or simply achieving peace of mind. Your why should resonate on a deep emotional level and energize you. Once you’ve identified it, the next step is to make it tangible. 

Bringing Your Why to Life 

Write down your why, and create a vision board or find images that represent it. Place these reminders in visible spots like your mirror, fridge, or computer—especially if online shopping is a temptation. This constant visual reinforcement will help you stay focused, making it easier to stay on track with your debt payoff journey. 

Staying Motivated When Faced with Obstacles 

When tempted to overspend or veer off your budget, revisit your why. It will provide the strength to navigate setbacks and remain committed, even when progress is slow. Remember, becoming debt-free is about more than just numbers—it's about building a life of freedom and opportunity. Your why is the catalyst that opens the door to that life. 

Reflect sincerely on your why, be true to yourself, and discover the motivation that will propel you toward financial freedom. You're not alone on this journey. At Debt Free Dad, we offer a supportive community eager to cheer you on and equip you with the tools and guidance you need to succeed. 

Resources Mentioned

Sign up for our free workshop October 24, 2024:
https://www.debtfreedad.com/live-workshop-public 

Get better results with your finances in 30-60 days - GUARANTEED. Watch this video to learn how! - https://www.debtfreedad.com/payoff-debt-in-60-to-90-days 

Free Tools and Downloads at www.debtfreedad.com

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 Transcript:

Ryan Nelson (Host)
00:00
Paying off debt requires discipline, sacrifice, and a whole lot of determination. But let's face it, sticking to a strict budget, saying no to impulse purchases, and putting every extra penny towards debt repayment can be tough, especially when life throws unexpected curveballs your way. That's where developing your why comes in. Your why is the motivation or the driving force behind your desire to become debt-free or more financially secure. It's the emotional connection that will keep you going when things get tough, or your motivation begins to wear off—which it will. Let's talk about how to develop our why. Welcome to the Debt-Free Dad podcast, where we help normal, everyday people take control of their finances so they can live a happier, less stressful life.

Ryan Nelson (Host)
00:51
My name is Ryan Nelson, and my wife and I paid off about $160,000 in debt over eight years while we were raising three kids. So, yes, it really did take us about eight years to pay off our debt. The first four years, there were a lot of ups and downs, and honestly, we can trace that all back to not really having our why in place. See, we knew we wanted to get out of debt and take control of our finances, but the reasons were pretty superficial. We had reasons like wanting more money to do things, maybe travel a little bit, or buy a nicer car or a better house. The reality was that stuff wasn’t really all that important to us. Those were just the world's views of why we wanted to get out of debt, and it was easy to not stick to the plan when the reasons weren’t truly meaningful.

Our real why had nothing much to do with money, and I want to break down what our why was. It wasn’t a ton of things, but these four points I’m going to share were really the driving force that helped us stay on track.

Ryan Nelson (Host)
02:03
So, number one, we wanted to stop fighting about money. My wife and I—it was a pretty normal thing. We were living paycheck to paycheck. We made decent money, but we were broke. We had a lot of nice things, but sometimes we'd look at the checkbook and there would be only $100 or $50 left for the week until we got paid. We were always fighting about money, and we just wanted to stop. It was taking up an enormous amount of time in our relationship, and it wasn’t helpful in any way.

Ryan Nelson (Host)
02:39
Number two is we wanted to set an example for our kids to follow. I grew up with parents who always said, “You’ll always have a credit card.” They didn’t necessarily encourage debt, but it was treated as a normal thing, like you couldn’t avoid it. We wanted to think differently for our kids and set an example where they didn’t have to rely on debt. If they wanted to go to college, we wanted them to avoid massive student loans and get started on the right foot.

Ryan Nelson (Host)
03:13
Number three is we wanted to stop keeping up with the Joneses. This was exhausting. We had done this for years, living in nicer neighborhoods, and it makes you spend a lot of money. We were tired of living for everyone else’s opinions, and it was exhausting. We just wanted to stop.

Ryan Nelson (Host)
03:41
Number four is we wanted to be prepared for opportunities in our lives that we weren’t able to take advantage of in the past. I had worked in a field for over 20 years—it was a good career, but I wasn’t in love with it. Over the years, opportunities presented themselves, but we couldn’t even consider them for 10 minutes because we had bills to pay, and we needed the steady income. You get stuck in a career because you’re paying for stuff that doesn’t make you happy. We wanted to get out of debt so when opportunities presented themselves in the future, we could actually think about them and take a chance if we wanted to.

These four things helped us go from being wishy-washy about paying off debt to really being committed to the process. Every time we had an opportunity to go back into debt, we went back to this list for a reminder of what we were trying to accomplish.

Ryan Nelson (Host)
04:44
So how do you develop your why? Well, it starts with some serious soul searching. Like I said at the beginning, it's easy to throw some reasons on paper and say, “This is my why,” but that’s what we did at first, and it never worked because we weren’t serious about it. So take your time. What are your dreams and aspirations? What do you want your life to look like when you become debt-free? Maybe you’re okay with a little debt, but what does that future life look like for you? What are you hoping to do?

And how will being debt-free impact your relationships? Your career? Do you love what you’re doing, or do you want to make a change? How is money affecting your mental health? Money has been one of the top stressors affecting people’s mental health, especially over the past couple of years. How would your life change if you could take control of your finances?

Ryan Nelson (Host)
05:47
Maybe you dream of traveling the world, starting your own business, or just having peace of mind. Whatever your why is, make sure it’s something that truly resonates with you, something that excites and inspires you. Once you’ve identified your why, it’s time to make it tangible. Write it down. We encourage people we work with to create a vision board or find a visual representation that speaks to them. Put it somewhere you’ll see it every day—on your mirror, your fridge, your computer, or even where you shop online.

When you’re tempted to overspend or deviate from your budget, having that reminder in your face will help. It was extremely helpful for us. That constant reminder will serve as a motivator and keep your why front and center. With a strong why, it becomes easier to make sacrifices and stay committed to your debt repayment plan.

Ryan Nelson (Host)
06:50
Every time you’re tempted to overspend or deviate from your budget, think back to your why. Remind yourself of what you’re trying to accomplish. Your why will also help you overcome setbacks and stay motivated, even when progress seems slow—and it will feel slow. It took many of us years to get into the mess we’re in. It took me nearly 40 years to get into the debt I was in, and it will take time to dig out.

There will be times when you feel discouraged, and you’ll question whether all of this is worth it. In those moments, revisit your why. Reconnect with what you’re trying to accomplish. Paying off debt is not just about numbers and spreadsheets. It’s about creating a life of freedom and possibility. Your why is the key that will unlock that door.

Ryan Nelson (Host)
07:47
So take some time today to reflect on your why. Dig deep, be honest with yourself, and find the motivation that will drive you towards financial freedom. And remember, you’re not alone in this. We here at Debt-Free Dad are here to support you. We have tons of people in our Facebook groups and in our programs to cheer you on and provide the tools and resources you need to succeed.

Ryan Nelson (Host)
08:10
I also want to encourage you to get around people who are also trying to do this. The world is full of broke people. You need to find those with the same mindset. So, get around people who are doing the same. And if you’re ready to take the next step and take control of your finances, I invite you to a free Life Without Payments workshop that we’ll be hosting on Sunday, October 20th. You can head over to debtfreedad.com and click the green button at the top of the page to sign up. We can’t wait to see you there!

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