Episode: 299 - Redefining Christmas: Love, Not Labels
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The Holiday Illusion
The holidays are a magical time, but they can also be overwhelming. Social media often paints an idealized picture: perfectly decorated homes, stacks of gifts, and elaborate celebrations. It’s easy to feel the pressure to match these images, leaving many of us asking: Are we doing enough? Are we giving our kids the Christmas they deserve?
Redefining the Holidays
My name is Ryan Nelson. Over eight years, my wife and I paid off over $160,000 in debt while raising three kids. During this time, we made a conscious decision to scale back on holiday spending. I remember feeling immense guilt, worried that fewer gifts meant our kids would feel less joy. But as we moved through those seasons, we realized something profound: the magic of Christmas isn’t in the number of presents under the tree.
The Hidden Cost of Holiday Debt
The numbers are startling. Each year, 52% of people go into debt for the holidays, accumulating an average of $1,250. Most take over six months to pay it off. This cycle can overshadow the joy of the season, leaving families burdened long after the decorations are packed away. And for what? Toys that quickly lose their appeal and gifts soon forgotten.
Focusing on What Matters
When we chose to scale back, we discovered something surprising: our kids didn’t care as much as we thought they would. Sure, there was initial disappointment, but it didn’t last. Instead, we focused on new traditions and meaningful experiences. Now that our children are older, what they remember most aren’t the gifts but the laughter, love, and togetherness we shared.
Ideas for a Meaningful Holiday
If you’re ready to focus on experiences over excess, here are a few ideas to make the season special:
- Bake Together: Turn the kitchen into a holiday workshop and create memories along with cookies.
- Game Nights: Pick a favorite board game or card game and enjoy family-friendly competition.
- Explore Lights: Take an evening to admire the neighborhood’s Christmas displays.
- Give Back: Volunteer as a family, teaching kids the joy of helping others.
- Create Traditions: Whether it’s watching a favorite holiday movie or writing letters to loved ones, traditions are priceless.
A Parting Thought: It’s Okay to Scale Back
This holiday season, remind yourself that it’s okay to say no to overspending. As Dr. Seuss so beautifully expressed in The Grinch, “What if Christmas…means a little bit more?” The heart of the holidays is about love and connection, not the size of the gift pile.
Wishing You a Joyous Season
As you celebrate this year, may your holidays be filled with meaningful moments and cherished memories. Thank you for joining me in this conversation, and I look forward to sharing more insights with you soon.
Resources Mentioned
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Transcript:
Ryan Nelson:
So let's be honest, we've all been there scrolling through social media bombarded with images of elaborately decorated trees, mountains of perfectly wrapped presents and kids with eyes wide over some expensive gadget that they got. It's easy to fall in the comparison trap and feel like we're failing our kids if we can't replicate that magic. So today I wanna talk about a topic that tends to rear its head around the holidays that nagging feeling of not doing enough, not buying enough, not creating that picture perfect Christmas morning we see plastered all over social media. My name is Ryan Nelson and my wife and I paid off over $160,000 over eight years while we were raising three kids. So when my wife and I were paying off debt, we scaled back our Christmas gift giving for our kids and I remember feeling these feelings, the feeling of guilt that we're not getting them enough. They're going to be unhappy. And look at what everybody else is doing. Why can't we do this? And it's hard not to get wrapped up into the consumerism of a holiday season. We used to buy our kids lots of toys and I remember that dreaded feeling on Christmas morning when it was over. And realizing now that we have to pay for all this stuff and some quick statistics is 52% on average of people go into debt and they go into debt on average of $1,250. And it takes most of them more than six months to pay that off, only to gear up and do it all over again the following Christmas.
Ryan Nelson:
But here's what I learned when we scaled back and my kids for the most part they didn't really care. I mean sure there may have been some short-lived disappointment, but we made some new traditions and did some different things and to this day, now that they're all older, that's what they look forward to, more than the stuff they used to get. We'd never heard after the holidays that my kids were disappointed or they bring up. I remember the Christmas I didn't get much and, let's be honest, a lot of the stuff that you get your kids and that I got my kids. It may have been cool for a little bit, but it ends up sitting in the corner and collecting dust anyway.
Ryan Nelson:
Our kids won't remember the specific gifts or the sheer quantity of stuff. What they will remember and this is what we've learned are the experiences, the new traditions, the feeling of being loved and cherished. Instead of stressing over material things, let's focus on creating memories by doing things like and these are just some ideas that you can think up. I mean, you have to figure that out for yourself but maybe you bake cookies together, maybe you have a family game night. This is one of the things we started during those years when we didn't have a lot of things, and to this day, this is the thing everyone's excited about when we get together at Christmas is what games are we going to play? Go caroling or go look at Christmas lights? You know you could volunteer at a local charity and teaching your kids the importance of giving back, and so I just want you to kind of think about, as we're going into this holiday season, you know, and especially as Christmas day is approaching, if you're having these feelings, it's okay that you can't maybe provide this perfect Christmas that you want to, and for the most part, your kids are like I said, they're not going to care.
Ryan Nelson:
And so I want to wrap this up by a quote from Dr Seuss, and it is one of my favorite Dr Seuss quotes, and it is from the Grinch. And the Grinch with his Grinch feet, ice cold in the snow, stood, puzzling and puzzling. How could it be? So it came without ribbons. It puzzling and puzzling. How could it be so? It came without ribbons, it came without tags, it came without packages, boxes or bags, and he puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store? What if Christmas perhaps means a little bit more? And so I hope you and your family have a great holiday season this year. I want to thank you for listening, and we will catch you on our next episode.
