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Episode 239 - How to Balance Financial Responsibility and YOLO

In a world where the mantra "You Only Live Once" reigns supreme, finding the delicate balance between seizing every opportunity and being financially responsible can be a challenging feat. The art of YOLO (You Only Live Once) with financial smarts is a concept many of us grapple with daily. How do we live life to the fullest while ensuring our financial well-being remains intact? 

 

The Dilemma: Living Life to the Fullest vs. Financial Responsibility 

The desire to live in the moment and make the most of every opportunity while also planning for the future is a common dilemma faced by many. Balancing the thrill of spontaneity with the security of financial stability is a tightrope walk that requires careful consideration. 

Personal Experiences Shared 

Brad, Ryan, Amber and Chris came together to discuss their journeys towards financial freedom while reflecting on the impact of the YOLO mindset on their decisions. From paying off substantial amounts of debt to reevaluating their values and priorities, each story sheds light on the importance of finding a harmonious balance between living for today and planning for tomorrow. 

Lessons Learned and Insights Gained 

Through their experiences, these individuals uncovered valuable lessons that have shaped their perspectives on financial planning and living intentionally. From the realization that saving for the future allows for greater flexibility and opportunities to the transformative power of getting out of debt, each revelation offers a glimpse into the profound impact of aligning financial goals with personal values. 

Embracing a Balanced Approach 

As they navigated the ups and downs of financial responsibility and spontaneous living, these individuals discovered the beauty of striking a balance between indulging in the present moment and securing a stable financial future. By setting savings goals, prioritizing financial health, and making mindful spending choices, they found a path that allows for both enjoyment and security.  

Conclusion: Embracing Financial Freedom 

In conclusion, the journey to financial freedom is not just about numbers and budgets; it's about cultivating a mindset that harmonizes living in the moment with planning for the future. By embracing a balanced approach to YOLO, we can pave the way for a fulfilling and financially secure life that allows for spontaneity, growth, and peace of mind. 

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Episode Transcript: 

Brad:  

So have you ever found yourself torn between living life to the fullest and being financially responsible? Now, this is a dilemma many of us face, wanting to seize every opportunity while also keeping our wallets happy. Well, fear not. Today we're diving into the art and balance of YOLO. You only live once with financial smarts. So if you're ready to find the sweet spot between living in the moment and planning for the future, we're going to be sharing our thoughts and experience on today's episode. Stay tuned.

Speaker 2:  

You're listening to the Debt-Free Dad podcast with Brad Nelson. Brad and his co-hosts experienced the anxiety of living paycheck to paycheck before learning the fundamentals of financial success. They are now on a mission to empower regular people to pay off their debt for good and enjoy happier, less stressful lives. Keep listening for inspirational interviews, tips, tricks and practical advice to gain financial freedom.

Brad:  

Hey guys, welcome to today's show. I am Brad Nelson, founder of Debt-Free Dad. I paid off about $45,000 of debt. I've been debt-free now for more than 11 years outside of my mortgage. I've also been fortunate to help thousands of other people save and pay off tens of millions of dollars with the work that we do here at Debt-Free Dad.

Amber:  

And I'm Amber and I've saved and paid off over $54,000 in 20 months and I've been debt-free since 2018.

Chris:  

And I'm Chris Hawkins, and my wife and I started our journey way back in 2005. And between 2005- 2008, we paid off just under $100,000 and have been debt-free, except for our house, and we continue to build our net worth.

Ryan:  

And my name is Ryan, and my wife and I paid off $160,000 over the course of eight years while raising three kids.

Brad:  

So, guys, after listening to this episode, if you want to take your finances further and you want to save more money and get out of debt and get better results in as little as 30 to 60 days, I'll be sharing some details about that coming up later on in today's episode. So, guys, I wanted to talk about this topic because it comes up a lot, especially with a lot of our social media content. People I've talked to over the years heck, even me myself and I'm sure you guys are going to share your experience with this whole idea of you only live once and how that whole mentality can really kind of take control of how you handle your finances and I will. I wouldn't say handle them, but how your finances begin to handle you Right. But it comes up all the time on a regular basis on a lot, especially on our you know, tiktoks, our Facebook reels, where we are talking about living financially responsible, saving more money, building emergency funds, getting out of debt, being able to have less financial stress, and time and time again, you'll have people comment and say things like, specifically, one person just the other day said I don't want to die the richest man in the cemetery, so I'm going to spend it now and live my life to the fullest.

Brad:  

And other people share very similar types of thoughts and mindsets that they have.

Brad:  

And guys I got to tell you, over this past year I've certainly have thought about this a lot, you know, having lost a spouse at a very young age. Even Ryan and I have talked about this. We lost our mom at a very young age of 57, and had only retired for a few years, worked her whole life and retired and a few years later passed away. So you know, it's something I've constantly, always had in my mind of you only live once, because I truly have seen some people pass away very early and it's like you think about maybe I should take that extra trip, maybe I should buy that thing that I really want. And I think this is a really good discussion and I think you know there's a real balance to this, obviously, but it's tough at times. Sometimes you can really get wrapped up in this whole YOLO idea and wanting to live life to the fullest today because you have no idea if tomorrow is ever going to come. What are your guys' thoughts on this whole mindset?

Chris:  

I will say that there was a point in time I don't know if I would have used the term you only live once. I don't think that was a thing back in 2000 to 2005. But I certainly spent my money and I certainly thought I was enjoying spending my money. But there was always this side of me that felt like I could be doing better and obviously getting out of debt. What I found out and I'm sure that all of you have experienced the same thing is you've got a lot more money left over and you can still have fun.

Chris:  

We've never talked about not having fun. Build it into your budget, but don't. It's called you only live once, but your life is not one day. So have some fun now, but set some money aside because you don't know how long you're going to live and build wealth. That was sort of why I put that teaser in there at the beginning about building my wealth, because the more wealth that you build guess what? The more fun you can have. Broke people can't do expensive, exotic vacations or they can't buy rental property or they can't spend the types of money that they want to, but wealthy people can. So yeah, you may not want to be the wealthiest person in the graveyard, but build wealth so that you can. As the saying goes, you only live once, but as you get older you can live better and better and better.

Ryan:  

And, Brad, like you said, when our mom passed away, I kind of it's just the way I dealt with it emotionally was just, you only live once. And so we really kind of put all that other stuff to the side and we just spent money, right, I mean, I think we just spent money like crazy and we just bought and bought and bought and really weren't concerned, Chris, with building wealth. We weren't really thinking of that, we were just thinking in the now. Mom waited all these years and she had all these dreams and hopes of what she wanted to do and she didn't get to do any of it. So I'm not waiting. And so then we just kind of just spent money like crazy.

Ryan:  

I mean, yeah, in the moment it feels good, but when we're arguing and fighting and then when it really started hitting, what if something happened to me?

Ryan:  

Like what if I got hit by a bus and I wasn't here and this YOLO lifestyle is now my wife and my kids' responsibility to clean up, like that's really for me. When we really started getting to that point where we were like really struggling, that's where we really that's where I kind of had my wake up call of like I don't want to leave my family in this nightmare of this YOLO lifestyle, because when it's all going great, it's fine. You know and Chris, you mentioned broke people can't take those vacations. You can, it's just then you argue about it for the next nine months while, because you shouldn't have taken it, you know you can't afford it, but you're going to argue after you took it Because, hey, yolo man, we're going, we're going to go the fanciest way and we're going to go the best way and we're going to have an awesome time. And then you get home and you're like gloves off. Let's start fighting for the next six months about why we did this.

Amber:  

It's tough.

Amber:  

It's tough because you see so many people on social media and we're all on social media and different platforms and you see them going on vacations and doing the things.

Amber:  

And I don't know how many people I've seen going on vacations the last, I don't know, 60 days Like it's been wild. And I myself, I went on a vacation as well, but I was feeling the like Ooh, I want to go now, but I know I'm going in a few weeks, but I want to go now, cause they're there now, or I want to stay longer, cause they're they went for two weeks. Maybe I need to go for two weeks, like I feel that, but at the same time, I don't want to go back to where I was and not even having the option to go on the vacation I went on, because I didn't have the money to do it and I didn't even have the credit card balance to do it. So for me, paying off all of that and having a plan for my money now, I now know that that YOLO is not so hot because I'm able to do so much more now that I've paid off all the debt.

Chris:  

I think you have to define what does it mean to live? Does you only live once, mean I go to a job that I absolutely hate, that's crummy because it pays what I need to do to only live once, or does putting myself in the financial situation where I can quit my job and go start a business and have a better quality of life? You can do those things when you're out of debt, when you save and you have a plan, and to me that's still living, but it's a better quality of living.

Chris:  

And I think it's part of that. So you only live once? Yes, we all know that, but what does it mean for you to live? What does your life look like?

Brad:  

Hey Chris, did you ever think that you would be an ice cream owner and a farmer at the same time?

Chris:  

I'm not going to qualify myself yet as a farmer. We bought some chickens here and I've already figured out how to lose a couple of them. There's some learning experiences going on. We'll get there.

Brad:  

When you're living paycheck to paycheck, I don't know. You feel like that whole. You spend like 3% of your life actually, you only live once. You know that it's about 3% of your time You're actually spending doing some of those things and it's the other 95% of your time worried about how you're going to pay for the some of this stuff you did in that 3% of your time.

Brad:  

And you know, we convinced ourselves like, well, you know, this is just how I'm going to live life, like this is how I'm going to do it, like this is normal. I just feel like once you get out of debt and you go on the journey and you sacrifice a little bit, you begin to realize all of those things that you thought were kind of classified as that you only live once wasn't really living truly to what you wanted, because I am able to live way more now than I ever was when I was in debt. Now, did it take me a good four to five years of some sacrifice in order to do that? Yes, but that four to five years was well worth the sacrifice for a lifetime of being able to kind of focus on the things that are most important to me. You know a lot of people will pick on us and say well, you know, I don't ever want to. You know, drive a used car. You only live once.

Brad:  

Well, for me, I've determined in my life that a car just isn't really all that important. I just need a reliable car to get to and from where I'm going to go. I'm not terribly crazy about cars. Now I used to think I was and I needed these nice cars. But the reality was I really didn't and I instead take that money and put it into other things that I enjoy and that's a lot more fun. But I think some of us might fall into this. You only live once lifestyle and try to keep up with everybody else and the way that they're living. But is it truly the way that you want to live and I think that's the thing I learned the most on the journey of getting out of debt is it really gives you the opportunity to put more money into the things once you're debt-free, especially that you really love doing? And now I live like you know. I just can't ever imagine going back to that whole idea of what I used to think YOLO was.

Amber:  

It's wild how much our values changed. Like it boggles my mind sometimes looking back at, you know, the things that I used to love doing or spending my money on, and now I'm just like I don't want that, really it's not that important to me. So it is. It's wild how much our values change from when we were in debt versus, at least for me, now that I'm out of debt.

Ryan:  

A lot of our messaging is about, you know, paying off debt. I think there is this kind of feeling of you know what, you don't do anything, I'm not gonna. I don't want to live like that, I want to be a cheapskate. We really, I think encourage people is there still is a balance, right? We're not saying that even as you're getting out of debt, like for us, when we were getting out of debt, there were things and opportunities, especially for our kids, that they had that they're only going to have those opportunities when they're kids.

Ryan:  

In high school they were in band, there were certain trips, there were certain things they did that's not coming around again and so, like in those cases, yeah, we, we fit that in and we figured out how to pay for those things. Because, guess what? I do, agree, yolo, you only live once, you're only in that age once. I can't put you back in high school school again to experience that. So we're not saying at all means you can't do anything fun. It's cut everything out and live a super boring life and save every dime you have. Die with $7 million. We're not saying that.

Brad:  

So I guess my question to you guys and probably what more people want to know is being that you're now debt-free is how do you find that balance of you only live once and also being spontaneous at the same time? Because that's hard, especially, like I said, losing a spouse early, our mom passing away early. Sometimes you get caught into that thinking I know, for me I have a little bit, I shouldn't say a little bit. I have a lot more flexibility in my budget to be a little bit more spontaneous, as long as my savings goals are met. I think that for me is like the key thing. If it's a down month where not as much income is coming in and we have just enough money to save, then that month for me there's not nearly as much say spontaneous type spending or there's not enough like money that we could just kind of mark for, hey, if we want to, something comes up like we've got money to go do some fun things, whereas as opposed to some months where there is, we can go do some of those things. So for me, I guess that's the balance. Where I come from guys is like the goals that I have for the future.

Brad:  

As long as those savings goals are met, I think anything over and above that not everything, but some of it over and above that. I will use an earmark kind of, as I don't know what this is going to be used for, but we're going to use it for fun this month and we're going to do something, because not everything can be planned perfectly, especially when you have kids and all that kind of stuff. Some things just come up. It's a nice day, hey, let's go do this. You got a little money in the budget, you can go do that. But I think once you're debt free, you've allowed yourself the flexibility in order to be able to have some of that kind of money. And I know that this sounds kind of hypocritical, because we try to teach people hey, don't call your extra money extra, because you'll spend it. But I think there's a little bit of leeway there.

Amber:  

If your savings goals are met, if you're out of debt, I think you can start having some more flexibility with some of those funds that are in your budget that you have in, though. Yeah, we say yes a lot more now than we ever did, and it's within our budget, it's within our means and we save and we have all our plans and our bills and everything's paid. But we have the flexibility to say yes a lot more than we ever did before, and that, to me, is like able to be a YOLO life.

Chris:  

Did y'all hear that out there, what she just said? If you're listening to this podcast, she says yes more often and I would agree. We say yes more often and sometimes it's just a matter of moving things around in the budget. Yes, we've got things in the budget and we actually do extra savings. And it goes back to your point, Brad, about not having extra. Well, we just call it savings. We'll put money, knowing that at some point down the road we're going to want to say yes to something and we don't know what it is. But having the ability at that moment to go, let's just do it, heck yeah. And those are the good feelings, especially when you know you don't owe anybody for it. You're not going to come back and fight about it, like Ryan mentioned. That's the key folks is you can say yes more often when you're out of debt and the quality of the yeses and the bigness of the yeses, I guess, can be significantly bigger and greater and more enjoyable than what you have now.

Ryan:  

All of our kids are getting older. My oldest just moved out earlier this year. My daughter's engaged and is going to get married next year and she's going to be gone and I don't know when my youngest is. If you're listening to this, we're not saying you have to leave, but we don't know when he's going to leave. I mean he could leave. You know he could leave soon.

Ryan:  

So we're, I think, getting really clear on what your YOLO is right. What are you trying to accomplish? What are the things that you want to achieve?

Ryan:  

Because when I was living that just random YOLO lifestyle, we didn't have any goals and then if something would come up it would be like we can't do that, and for me, like one of my big things was like I got stuck in a job for 20 years paying for a YOLO lifestyle and I and I never really wanted it, but it was always like we weren't planning, there was no goal, there was no thing, and like that was always disappointing to me when those opportunities would come up throughout our life and it was like I'm living this fun lifestyle and in the moment I'm having fun, but then something really cool would present itself and you're like, well, I can't do that. And it's like. So my wife and I are in this point right now where we're trying to plan like Brad, you and I just talked about this today Like I'm going to hit the big five- oh this year, you know. And so like we're starting to look at, oh my gosh, in a few years we could look at 55 and older communities.

Ryan:  

This is weird, like. But like what does that look like? What does our lifestyle look like? What, what do we want to do? And so that way, when things happen, we're YOLOing within a frame, but still like those bigger picture things are. That's the goal, because what we don't want to do is just YOLO and do whatever we want and then get to a point where we're 55 or 60 or 65. And then we're like we don't have money for retirement, we don't have the house paid off, we didn't do these things that we're trying to accomplish. So I think YOLO is great within a framework of what are the big things you're trying to achieve.

Brad:  

A quote keeps coming up in the back of my head and I don't know what specifically, but it's by Morgan Household in his book the Psychology of Money

Brad:  

And, by the way, if you have not read the book, I think it's one of the one of the better financial books I've ever written out there.

Brad:  

But one of the things he says is that savings, like you just said, Chris, it gives you the opportunity to pounce, you know when and if you're ready to. Or as opposed to, if you're constantly doing this YOLO and you're letting all these spending kind of control the way you handle your money, you never really get to the opportunity to pounce outside of maybe getting yourself further into debt, which only just adds on more and more financial stress, and eventually they ain't going to give you any more debt. Your YOLO is going to eventually run out, whereas opposed to if you are consistently saving for those future unknown things and you just want savings there so you can pounce. That is the cool part about that Having that mindset of creating that habit of saving and putting that money away on a regular basis. Because I'm guessing for you, Chris, you just mentioned this farm. I'm guessing that played a big role in maybe you guys being able to do some of the stuff that you guys are doing now.

Chris:  

Absolutely. When we made the decision to move up here full-time, we sold our house back in the Atlanta area and we were still sitting on all of that money which, by the way, we had a 10-year mortgage on it when we bought it and we only owed a little less than two years on it when we sold it and we bought it as a fixer-upper. We put a lot of work into it, so we were just sitting on cash here waiting for the right moment, the right opportunity. Now, we have the house up here that we're currently living in, that we're moving out of, that we're going to keep as an Airbnb VRBO. But we bought it during COVID, when nobody was traveling and nobody was buying real estate, and so we have the opportunity to pounce, like you're talking about, when the time came right. And that house has almost doubled in value in the last four years simply because we waited for the right moment. And the farm's the same way.

Chris:  

We've been looking for two years for somewhere to do this. You know we watch enough YouTube videos and go man, we would love to do that. We'd love to be able to do this. Well, it required the land, okay, and the infrastructure, the barns, the fencing. We wanted one with a pond and streams. And we finally found it. And the ability to go. Okay, there it is, let's go do it.

Chris:  

Man, it's such exciting. There's a lot of work to do around here. I'm finding that out All right, but I spent all day cutting grass, fixing a lawnmower, working on a garden, and I hadn't had that much fun in a long time. So sometimes it doesn't necessarily take even spending money. It's just putting yourself in the right position, at the opportunity when it comes up, to be able to do the type of life that you want to do. And, man, I had such a blast out there, getting sunburned today, doing things that I've been wanting to do for a long time and now I'm finally getting to do them.

Brad:  

So you said 2005, I think is when you guys started, right. Yes, so the 19 years ago. Would you ever imagine you'd be where you are today?

Ryan:  

I think for all of us maybe I don't know, maybe we can all share, or maybe we all just agree, I don't know but for me that YOLO, you only live once, live in the moment lifestyle, I think for most people there's a brick wall you're going to hit at some point and I think we've all hit that at some point Like it's fun in the moment and it's fun while it lasts, but then all of a sudden, like when I was staring at $160,000 in debt and we're like literally have no money to do anything, I mean you can say YOLO all you want, but then you get to the point where you're like everybody's going to find out because we might lose the house, we might this, we might like you can only do that so long until you know it.

Ryan:  

Just you just end. So I don't know. For me that's like a big thing. I think people need to realize, because I know when I was young it just was like 40, was like 40. You're an old man, but all of a sudden they turn around and I was 40 and broke, and it was like man.

Brad:  

That's not fun. And I was 40 and broke. And it was like man. That's not fun. That's not fun to be 40 and broke. Yeah, you might lose your house. I lost the house. I know how that feels, right, yeah, I hit the wall pretty hard. I hit the wall pretty hard, but that was my wake-up call and sometimes that's what you need, and it was a blessing in disguise for me, no question. So if you want to pay off debt, save more money and take control of your finances, then head over to debtfreedad. com and you're going to learn a way, a better way, to handle your finances and seriously get better results here in just the next 30 to 60 days.

Amber:  

Go visit debtfreedad. com click on the green button at the top of the page and we will show you how to get started. That sound means it's time for the celebrations of the show. First we have Bonnie. I have my monthly spending budget done. Last month was a challenge. Looks like this month will be a little more manageable, so grateful for Roots.

Brad:  

There you go, Bonnie, congratulations. Brenda says I have enough money saved to pay for a full six months of car insurance. I'll save a little over $300 by paying in full, and this is the value of budgeting and paying in full and paying cash. You will constantly find ways to save money. So congratulations to you, Brenda.

Chris:  

Claudia Ann says that she put her tax return in her emergency fund and now it has over $1,100 in her emergency fund.

Ryan:  

Tawana. I have been looking at these sneakers for like a week. I want them, but I don't need them. So I kicked my wants to the curb and didn't buy them, because I'm not letting my wants run my life.

Brad:  

Yeah, great win Tawana. Congratulations to all of you guys who are working your way out of debt. Thanks for joining us here today and we will see you guys on the next episode.

Speaker 2:  

Thanks for listening to the Debt-Free Dad podcast. Connect with us on Facebook, tiktok, youtube and Instagram. Just search Debt-Free Dad. If you found value in today's episode, please leave us a rating and review. We so appreciate it. For resources, show notes and links mentioned in today's show visit debtfreedad. com. Catch you next week.

 

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